While I found some of it relevant and interesting, it is hard for me to buy into such gender generalizations. It's as though every course of a meal was individually superb, but overall it was found lacking. Hysterical... though I'm not sure others would find it so. For the most part I felt like this was right on the money. If you’re a new manager at an electronics store and an employee wants to take Sunday off to watch a football game, you may say no to set an example for the other employees. You Just Don't Understand. Talks about how everybody thinks they're being direct, but most people have unacknowledged styles of indirectness. She is clear about the limitations of generalising. a lack of closeness but consultation to the husband is seen as limited freedom. In this case, I enjoyed the stories of men and women talking past each other and I like the explanation, but I quickly became tired of diagnosis and wanted some cure. -communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy, Chapter 2: Asymmetries: Women and Men Talking at Cross, When a woman sympathizes with a man, he gets annoyed and feels she is trying to. Their styles of speaking show dominance, and independence. Frame . My husband rarely reads books. However, you have to admit for as many who may not relate, there are at least an equal number who will. This can be seen in them apparently lecturing in a teacher style (to show how much they know), something Tannen refers to as "report" type talking. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. It's been a Read with Jenna... To see what your friends thought of this book, (I am not an academic) The theories discussed are included in my syllabus for the Cambridge International A-Level exam (together with Lakoff's, O'Barr. men try to reassure women by telling them that their situation isn't so bleak. Chapter summaries written for Graduate Credit by 4.0 GPA student in 2015. Chapter summaries written for Graduate Credit by 4.0 GPA student in 2015 You Just Don't Understand chapter summaries 1. Chapter 2: Asymmetries-Women and Men: A Leadership Perspective You Just Don't Understand Summary Women and men want different types of support Girls want connection. A lot of times when I didn't see something like a friend of mine who was a girl did in the same way it was because I didn't understand what was meant. Just fascinating reading! I rolled my eyes, not wanting to deal with this at the moment. I was listening to this book on an audio book because I was just doing research on feminist issues for a project and I actually found a lot of insightful things contained in it. You Just Don't Understand. You Just Don't Understand (Midnight Red) Chapter 1. I have owned this book for a number of years; I may have tried it previously, but put it down without completing it. There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Trailblazing. For my brothers and several other male friends, not so much... Deborah Tannen has produced yet another well written and well researched book with a very readable style. ex) married couple: husband doesn't like consulting with wife because he feels as if he, needs to permission to do things. by William Morrow Paperbacks, You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. So I did not finish this book because honestly, I got bored. At home, on the job, in a personal relationship, it's often not what you say but how you say it that counts. based on the notion that women seek social connections and men are looking for stature or position with respect to their interlocutors. Only I just said that in seven words. Deborah Tannen made her reputation with this examination of the differences in the ways men and women communicate. It's not even just that it's men and women who have difficulty talking with one another it's people with different (perhaps incompatible) styles that will have problems. Hysterical... though I'm not sure others would find it so. You just don't feel enthused about anything and each day is not something you look forward to. I was struggling through this book, trying to find a point in it. It should be read by anyone who has been frustrated by: (a) his male friends constantly one-upping him; (b) her female friends allowing too little individualization; (c) his girlfriend/wife offering help or condolence or seeming unduly controlling; or (d) her boyfriend/husband seeming aloof and unwilling to engage. - either one-up or one-down. So, for you more empathetic men, fair warning, this may not be for you. For instance, she writes, "Women feel it is natural to consult with their partners at every turn, while men automatically make more decisions without consulting their partners...Women expect decisions to be discussed first and made by consensus...men feel oppressed by lengthy discussions about what they see as minor decisions, and they feel hemmed in if they can't just act without talking first." - life is a community and a struggle to preserve intimacy and avoid isolation. Morrow, 1990. I walked out of the apartment and to the lift. 1, and has been translated into 29 languages. Some require longer pauses in order to speak, some require (practically) written invitations. I sat down . For me, there were certainly some laugh out loud moments. She certainly knows her stuff.   Privacy I was still stuck in the traditional mind frame that things are only about activities and that if you don't do something with someone you aren't close to them. I gave it 4 stars cuz it was kinda long, but it was still interesting to read about conversation style differences between men and women, as studied in human behavior. To push them away re intertwined so their actions have consequences it is hard me! “ you Just Do n't feel enthused about anything and each day is not sponsored or by... Women think and speak ways men and women communicate pointed out how women think speak... 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