Silent Tears
Somewhere, sometime, I became resigned that cans on the shelf must be perfectly lined even when I'm the only one looking, the only one cooking, the only one locked away in a prison of I love you’s but I gotta hurt you because you just don’t learn.
When will you learn.
My heart is broken and I’m sure he’s just misspoken because he is my savior, the flavor I savor and his love is painfully clear. He whispers in my ear and I wrap my arms around him and draw him near and I say my dear, I will never leave you.
I will never leave you.
People say I should go when he calls me a hoe, just another name, you know and I turn to look at myself where I place the blame; and I adjourn to the room where he takes me, he pulls at me and rapes me and the next morning he does an about-turn just when I have reached the point of no-return and then I believe.
I believe he loves only me.
That love is so deep that even in my sleep, I feel the beat but the words afterward are so sweet and I stay.
I stay.
I have no one to turn to because all you talk about is your boo who last week slapped you and here we sit looking at each other.
I just became a mother and where do I go when this is all I know. Where do I go when this is all I know.
This is all I know.
Last night I had a feeling of doom, looked out, saw him coming from her room.
My baby girl is crying and inside I’m dying because of what I’m eyeing.
Right now there is no denying,
I’m no longer complying.
I fall to the ground, my cheek, his punch found,
My brain felt unwound
and I crawl,
I fight,
I cry,
I die,
I die,
I just want to be loved.
I just want to be loved.
I just wanted to be loved.
(If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence. Please seek help.)
About La Verta Whitlock Scott
Poetry and thoughts for the everyday person. I write poetry that is accessible and understandable.