By Aidan O'Reilly

I want to tell that i'm better
That I'm happy
But i can't.
I still struggle daily with a depression i have learned to call a brother.
Sometimes It's more like a parasitic twin
And I used to try and cut it off
Only to be confronted by my own skin
You see i still have scars upon my shoulder blades
Two on my forearms
And one on my skull
They all have story
And as much i as think that they are ugly
I've learned to call them family
So every night we sit at the dinner table
And we silently stare down at our plates
Everyone too scared to speak
So we just sit there together
With an unspoken bond
The silence becomes so depressing that it's peaceful
And I've become happy being sad.
It's a calming pain
I've learned to live with
And i wish i could tell you it would just go away
But I'm not sure i even want it to.
Me and my scars write poetry
And it make me proud enough to smile
So i can feel the sunlight on my skin again
But even though at times i may look broken
I assure you that these cracks are only proof
of how my much shit i can take without breaking
So i turn my face to feature these scars
And I've learned to take pride in the attempts on my own life
Because i still haven't died
And there's nothing you can do to kill me
I have become a concrete child.
And i write to feel soft again.
So i wear these wounds as victories
Shed my sorrows for a second skin
And one day
When i do die
And my soul leaves my body
When i look down at my grave
I hope not to see a statue
Burying all that is soft and beautiful
I hope i see a garden
Just so i can see myself
Bloom