By Donna

Thirty seven years of building, growing, and fucking—and fucking things up! Yup-We did that. We look at them now and see how far we have come. Our sons—bearded, just 3 days from their last shave. Time having its way with all of us. Just yesterday we were sterilizing baby bottles in a vat of boiling hot water for the first born, reducing that ritual down to hot tap water for the second and third. It wasn’t the terrible twos’ in my tribe, but rather the triple threat of age-3; concealing toy swords in the back of shirts where the collar is the resting place for the cross-guard; the other falling asleep with Barney, and the last, pissing in the toy box and blaming the neighbor's kids; I was mad at that neighbors kid for years! Between the homework and punishment came the shuttling to all things sport—football, basketball, tennis, soccer, karate, boxing, track and band. Doing our share of Team Mom or Team Dad, SNACKS for EVERY PLAYER! And who would not love hounding parents for trophy night money— (laughing) us that's who; And just when the thought of babies are rinsed from our brains and embracing the understanding that only irresponsible parents bring crying babies to restaurant and movie theaters, then came the grandkids. Our arms couldn't stretch high enough or wide enough to show "I love youuu--thisssss much". The grandson who will try to fix everything with a hammer, and please let him have it or it’s “I got it i-Paw”, and the other grandson trying to master walking-the art of balance, a benchmark towards independence. And "Baby-Girl"---Oh "Baby-Girl", the grand-daughter finally here injecting feminine energy into a family dominated with testosterone. And although I feel the same Inside- a silly, introspective young curious teenager, negotiating with the arthritis in my back that demands attention every few hours, or the controlled knee bends, serves as a reminder that we are older. Mirror mirror on the wall reflects multiples of gray hairs geared for battle, have made their presence known and locked arms in an allegiance across the hairline. This is the life we have now. A satisfaction of acquiring things yielding from how we earn our daily bread. Playing the lottery's long shot, for the fantasy of financial freedom that will make us live as we can only imagine. So fuck it—It’s only a dollar. Our childhood dreams tabled for future days, are replaced with responsibilities of debt, maintaining cars, maintaining the house, maintaining our sanity, as we come by our own free will to our musically charged backyard, filling it with our laughter, drunken banter fueled by alcohol consumption, companied with citronella smoke for the mosquitos and flavored infused clipped cigar, lit for the Mister. Gossip unfolds about family, friends, neighbors, actors, musicians, ministers, bishops, dogs and cats, bitches, niggas. No topic is left behind as long as the Ciroc and the Porto are freely flowing and warming our veins. We reminisce on the back in the days, the children's childhood and how we are different people now with the grandkids; our parental style more relax-appreciating the time to view the life that is here because of our part in the world. It quantifies where all the time have gone. What lies in us still are the deferred dreams, possibly even a search for purpose; to feel we have completed or completing the great mission we are here to perform. Maybe we are living that purpose now; being a part of some greater plan. That's the hope isn’t it--when we can't find it (our own purpose) then maybe it's in the children's success; but is their purpose, ours, or rather, their inability to find theirs--does that become our burden as well? The celebration of Birthdays, Anniversaries, Thanksgiving and Christmas reminds us of how fast time is moving. Hell Baby girl is almost 1 years old--she was just born the other day. We are reminded that work still needs to be done; rising above social norms if they does not reflect who we are inside, communicating more because misunderstanding grows in its absence, providing encouragement because it breeds confidence, holding each other more because good energy flows when touched and loving more because everyone wants to be loved.